Skip to Content
   Home   Books | Music | Comics | Humor | Podcasts & Shows | Articles | Fun & Games | FAQs

The Witch and the Rose by Trae Dorn - on sale now!

Back to The Craptacular World
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:51
Last Updated: 2/18/2009 7:22

The Ridiculous Fastspells.com
Trae Dorn
August 28th 2008

Website(s) Reviewed: www.fastspells.com, www.ratethecaster.com

This is Part One of an Ongoing Series on Internet Spell Casters. You May Want to Also Read Part Two, Part Three, Part Four and Part Five
TRHOnline.com runs Google Adsense ads (for those of you who never see them because of ad blockers). With the recent revival of the site's Wicca Section, I've been getting advertisements of a slightly different theme. This is, of course, to be expected. I expect things like "Amazing Tarot Readings!" to be showing up, and I am not surprised by "Cheap Psychic Readings!" either... because for better or for worse, many people (including advertisers) equate my religion with new agey things. What I didn't expect, as I was apparently far too naive, was to start getting ads for what is best described as a spell farm on my website.

Fastspells.com - click to see full sizedWhen the ad for FASTSPELLS.com came up, I was curious so I went to their page. I'm not sure what I expected, but upon arriving there, I was shocked. Let's put aside the fact that the site proclaiming to have "25 years" of experience or whatever, yet all the women pictured on the website as "casters" are model level attractive and clearly under 30. Let's put aside the hideous color scheme that makes me want to stab my eyes out.

Let's look at what they're charging for.

They're charging you for them to cast spells on your behalf.

The first thing that I looked at was, easily enough, "Love Spells." Apparently, if you believe the website, by purchasing a spell which costs from anywhere from Standard Level ($39) to Premium Level ($265!) you can get them to do a 12 hour casting of your love spell.

12 hours. For every spell. That hurts my brain.

12 hours is a long time. I've been a practicing Witch for eleven years and, honestly, I've never, ever heard of a spell taking that long. I'm sure it's possible some celebratory rituals can take that long, and even one or two castings could possibly get that intense, but the longest I've had any connection to took at longest 3 hours... and that was long. That, of course, doesn't include socializing, talking, meals... just straight working of energy. In any case, a simple spell just shouldn't take that long.

That aside though, mathematically it just is hard to work out. On their "Standard" level, they promise that the 12 hour casting will be done within three days. That's right, three days. If "Kimberly Rose" is doing the casting, as stated in their description on "Power Levels," somehow they're guaranteeing that six people don't have spells waiting at any given time. Six.

And that's if Ms. Rose doesn't sleep.

While I like to think that people aren't that gullible, I have no problem believing that seven people might be suckered into it. And then you certainly do have a problem with false advertising.

Finally, let's get into the whole "Love Spell" thing. At the bottom of the page they link to the Wikipedia disambiguation article on Wicca, which is all well and good, but clearly this isn't that Wiccan a site. Why? Because they're doing love spells. Okay, I'm going to spell this out - the primary rule of Wicca is that you harm none. A love spell, which (if it were to actually work) alters the will of the person it is being cast on. It's mind control. Now, I'm fairly certain that no casting is actually being done here, and that they're just taking people's money and doing nothing, but on the off chance ANY of what they say is true, it's a big mystical no no.

This is, on every level, a scam in my opinion.

But things get better. Or should I say... worse. At the bottom of the page, I found a link to "Ratethecaster.com" Rate the Caster is a site designed to, supposedly, Rate a Caster. Except, and this is the thing, there's no where to rate a caster. This isn't a site that allows anyone to leave feedback, but instead offers a one paragraph review for a bunch of different spell farms. Fancy that, but Fastspells.com is the number one rated site! Besides that, a quick whois on them reveals that while both were registered via Domains by Proxy (an anonymous way to register a site address) both registrations expire at the same time. Looking at the code, it really does look like they were created by the same person (or at least the same piece of software). At least at first glance, Ratethecaster.com seems to be a place for Fastspells.com to promote themselves while decrying their own competition.

Way to be.

Update: Further investigation leads me to believe Ratethecaster.com to be a total front for Fastspells.com. Besides being registered on the same day, both are hosted on the same server (detroit.securenet-server.net). This is a server owned by AceNet Inc. (http://www.ace-host.net/). It should also be mentioned that both Fastspells.com and Ratethecaster.com were registered in January of 2008. Yet, and this is the part that smacks of scam the most, the Fastspells.com website proudly proclaims that they were rated #1 by Ratethecaster.com in 2007.

A year in which neither website actually existed.



Trae Dorn
Become a Patron
Facebook
Tumblr
Twitter
The Chronicles of Crosarth - a webcomic of Steampunk Adventure, updated Mon & Wed
UnCONventional - A Webcomic about Conventions, Updated Tuesdays and Thursdays
Read Trae's Blog!   Nerd & Tie       


 
Site Search | Blog Search | Forum Search | Who is TRH?