Episode 9 - Benny and Tankorr Take a Break

Benny is walking around Cybertron...

Benny: Damn!  Trapped on some ass backwards robot planet in some indeterminate time frame with no one to scam... Jeez.  An' I got five kids to feed!  Stupid moletank, and shit...

<Turns Corner and walks into Tankorr>

Benny:  Watch where you're going bitch!  Your disapearin'' red striped ass scared the hell out of me!

Tankorr:  Now this is just grand.  A human being...

Benny: Mutant!

Tankorr: Whatever!  A human being, or a close facsimile of one, is walking around Cybertron.  Is Megatron employing Organics now, or has Optimus figured out a way to drag you out of the Oracle.

Benny:  Naw man, some damned Moletank...

Tankorr: Mr. Bamt...

Benny: Yeah, his fucked up ass dragged me through time to be some sort of ass master...

Tankorr: Headmaster...

Benny: You sure with that guy?

Tankorr: No.

Benny:  Well, to be some sort of master, or some such shit, and make people apologize or something.

Tankorr: He took my drones.

Benny:  So you don't like him either?

Tankorr: About as much as I like having sex with Starscream.

Benny: ...


Benny: suuuuuure......


Rattrap and Nightscream are patrolling for no good reason.  Nightscream looks worse for wear.

Nightscream: please... stop... shooting... me....

Rattrap:  Don't make me reload kid.

Nightscream: but...

Rattrap: <Shoots Nightscream>  I warned ya'

<A River bank>

Benny and Tankorr are skipping stones...

Benny: So if Megatron is so anti-organics, why'd he create NickBee?

Tankorr:  Simple.  It's  the fanfic writer's fault.

Benny: This is a fanfic?

Tankorr:  Duh.  Why do you think there are this many characters thrown in by Traegorn, like NickBee, You, Mr. Bamt, the Diagnostic Drone has been renamed Bob Ski....

Benny: Wait!,  you mean he came up with Mr. Bamt?

Tankorr: Well, not the current one writing, and Mr. Bamt sort of came up with himself...

<Flashback -- Ben Yee's Beast Machines Bulletin Board, Late 1999>

<Traegorn/Trægonis>: Dude, calm down...

<You Know Who>:  i am guardian of this board........apologize now....

<The Orange>: You are so unfroody.

<Phil Bond>: Hold me Orange, hold me....

<NetworkGuy>: You all need mental help...


Tankorr: So maybe it didn't happen exactly like that...

Benny:  Phil is gonna kick Traegorn's ass, huh.

Tankorr:  He'll probably try at least....

Benny: Ha!  Phil trying to kick Traegorn's ass.... <Skips a stone across the river>

<Back to Elsewhere>

Rattrap: <Into comm. unit> Rattrap to Optimus!  Uhh... I kind of hurt Nightscream....

Nightscream: ughhh.....

Optimus <Through communicator>: I can't DEAL with that now!

Rattrap: What are you? Ultra Magnus?

Optimus: Uhh, I mean, There's no TIME for that!

Rattrap: Better. 

Optimus: Thanks!

<Back to the River>

Benny: So... where exactly did this riverbed come from?

Tankorr: What? A robotic planet can have miles of sewers, and no rivers?

Benny: Sorry, but I got five kids to feed.

Tankorr: Suuure. <Rolls eyes>

Benny: WHAT!!

<Elsewhere again...>

Rattrap:  'Eh, will you heal yourself already?  I really want to shoot you!

Nightscream:  Blow me.

Rattrap: You are so lucky this isn't a Transformers World's Worst Fanfic....

Nightscream: Why?  Traegorn RavenHawk started using #wiigii!...

Rattrap: By Primus no....

Nightscream: Exactly...

<Back at the River>

Tankorr: So, that's why I hate Bob Skir.

Benny: He really did that to those poor children?

Tankorr: Yup.

Benny: But the Sound of Music?

Tankorr: The remastered version.

Benny: <shiver>

Tankorr: I know...

<Back to Elsewhere>

Rattrap: So, that's what Optimus' toy looks like.

Nightscream:  Oh god... what's gonna happen to us?

Rattrap: I don't know, stinky, I don't know.

<Back at Megatron's Evil Palace of Indifference>

Megatron:  Why am I doing nothing?

Bob Skir/Drone:  I honestly don't care about you anymore.  This Benny Chap is entertaining.

Megatron: What?!

BS/D:  Dance puppet! Dance!

Megatron: <dancing around> Oh no....

Unicron's Head: <From the Sky> At least he didn't push you out of shot ever...

<Back to the River>

Benny: So that's when I turned on Arnold...

Tankorr: The weak fleshling deserved it...

Benny: Exactly!

Tankorr: And besides, like you said, you got five kids to feed!

Benny: Suuurrre......

<Yet another Elsewhere, but not the first elsewhere>

Cheapwhore and Black-a-whack-nia

Cheetor and BA: HEY!

I mean, Cheetor and Blackarachnia....

Blackarachnia: Better.

Cheetor:  Jeez, how bored are you Mr. RavenHawk?

TRH: I'm not bored actually, I just felt that I needed to say what was happening to the rest of the cast.

Cheetor: Why?

TRH: Habit, I guess.

BA: Well, stop it already!  Get back to the plot.

Cheetor: Even if this is turning into what a Kevin Smith episode of Beast Machines would look like.

TRH: Shut up Hot Rod.

Cheetor: I AM NOT HOT ROD! <runs off>

<Back to the First Elsewhere>

Rattrap:  You feelin' better flyboy?

Nightscream: All better!

Rattrap: Good! <Pulls out pistol>

Nightscream: Uhh, Hey! Isn't that a Riverbed over there?

Rattrap: Where?

<The Riverbed>

Tankorr: Hmmm... I seem to be tracking a maximal or two.

Benny: Who cares?

Tankorr: Good point

Rattrap and Nightscream walk up, seeing Benny and Tankorr skipping rocks.

Rattrap: eh, what's goin' on.

Tankorr: Skipping rocks. 

Rattrap: Why?

Tankorr: What else are we going to do?

Rattrap: <eyes Nightscream> Oh, I've got an idea....

<five minutes later>

Rattrap: PULL!

Benny pulls a lever on a catapult, flinging Nightscream into the air.

Tankorr and Rattrap shoot at him.

Nightscream: Why can't we all just get along? <gasp>

The End.