Episode 3 - Conforming Composition

Last time on The Lost Episodes...
<At Meg's house of hip wing cloaks and affirmatives... >

Megatron: Yessssss.  I have you now Maximals. Yesssssssss

A Viewscreen clearly shows Tankorr sitting on Cheetor's head in a sewer passageway.


Megatron:  We need to separate and conquer... Yessssss.   NickBee, take out Blackarachnia...


Megatron:  And Jetstorm, Remove Primal from the food chain... Yesss....


NickBee:  Let's rock and roll!

Jetstorm:  You mean 'Let's Mainstream Pop!'

NickBee:  You do realize that you are an incredible bastard.

<And now back to our story>

We see the sewers of Cybertron.  Nightscream, Rattrap, Blackarachnia (In Reformatted form), and Primal looking for Cheetor.

Primal: CHEEEEEETOR! I have piiiiiieeee!

Nightscream:  It's no use.  We'll never find him!

Rattrap: Maximize! <Shoots Nightscream> No continuity error that time <blows smoke from pistol>

Nightscream:  That's an energy weapon, not a projectile weapon.  There shouldn't be any smoke!

Rattrap:  Shut.  Up. <Shoots Nightscream>

<Meanwhile... >

Tankorr is sitting on Cheetor's head.

Cheetor:  <Muffled> Get offa me!

Tankorr:  Tankorr not like Kitty bot.  Kitty bot stay down!

Cheetor:  Didn't we get Rhino's intelligence back in you?

Tankorr:  This Fanfic.  Fanfic writer no care!

Cheetor:  You Tankorr?

Tankorr:  ME TANKORR!

Cheetor:  You wanna do the hokey pokey?

Tankorr:  Tankorr not do hokey pokey!

Cheetor: Come on! It'll be fun!

Tankorr:  No Hokey Pokey.  Tankorr want to eat his pie!

Cheetor:  Pie?!?

Tankorr: <Pulls out Pie> Tankorr like pie!

Cheetor: What kind of pie?!?

Tankorr:  Cherry pie.

Cheetor:  GET OFFA ME! <Cheetor tosses Tankorr off of him>

Tankorr: How Catbot do that!?

Cheetor: Never underestimate the power of pie. <Begins to run away.  Turns around, grabs pie> YOINK! <Runs away with pie>

Tankorr: Tankorr no like this. <falls over>

Cheetor bounds into the area with the other Maximals.

Cheetor:  Hey Big Bot!  Tankorr is down here!

Primal:  By Budd.. I mean by the Allspark!  Lets get up to the surface!

The Maximals Climb to the surface.  And find themselves surrounded by NickBee and the BumbleCons, and Jetstorm and his dorky drones.

NickBee:  Boy, you guys are sure dumb...

Jetstorm:  Yeah!  I couldn't even reach you in the sewers!

Primal:  This is getting repetitive.

Blackarachnia:  No shit.

Rattrap:  Hey!  NickBee and Jetstorm! Brittany Spears is dancing topless over there!

Jetstorm & NickBee: Where! <Looking>

Rattrap: <Pistol Whips NickBee and Jetstorm, knocking them out>  Eh.

Tankorr:  Tankorr no fit through Sewer cap!

Cheetor:  Convenient that.

Primal:  Lets hightail it.

Nightscream: Sounds good to me!

Rattrap: Shut up! <Shoots Nightscream>

<Back at Megatron's Hall of Badness>

Megatron:  This is disappointing.  Yessss...

A Small diagnostic drone floats up next to him.

Drone:  It would appear that your Generals are inept.

Megatron:  Oh, that's helping.  Yesssssss.... Any progress in removing my organics?

Drone:  No.  You could always make a new body.

Megatron:  No!  I shall not allow myself to be weakened!  Why am I refusing the new body again?

Drone: Because It's a plot device I've thrown in for the toy manu... I mean, you should know your own reasoning, sir.

Megatron: <Narrowing his eyes> What's your name again? Yesssss....

Drone:  Me?  Skir.  Bob Skir.

Megatron:  Oh dear.

<Back to the Maximals.... >

They are currently running for some reason.  Oh yeah, they knocked out the Vehicon Generals...

Primal:  It's time we went on the offensive!

Cheetor:  Oh yeah BigBot, you're offensive...

Primal:  What did I say about Marv Wolfman...

Cheetor:  Sorry...

Nightscream:  Didn't you already make that joke?

Rattrap:  Shut up flyboy <shoots Nightscream>

Blackarachnia: Am I the only one who has noticed that we haven't dealt with my subplot since episode 1?

Primal: Wait. <He Stops>  That gives me an idea...

Nightscream:  Hey, anyone notice that the Vehicons aren't chasing us anymore?

<Back at the former battle scene>

Tankorr: <From sewer hole>  Do Jetstorm have any eights?

Jetstorm: Go Fish. <smacks Tankorr's head, knocking him down into the water below. >

We see Tankorr start sparking, and then he slowly gets up...

Tankorr:  I... remember everything!  Megatron has it right, we must....

NickBee:  That's great.  Now just take your stupid card so we can get to my turn.

<Back at Megatron's Land of Cheese>

Megatron:  Cheese?  Is that the best you can come up with?

Traegorn RavenHawk:  I'm tired, and working on a deadline here.  I promised to have this episode done three weeks ago.  It's 1:30am. Gimme a f*&!ing break!

Megatron:  Sorry.  Sheeesh.

Traegorn RavenHawk:  Get back to being evil, before I sick Bob Skir on you.

Megatron:  Yesssssss....

Traegorn RavenHawk: That's better.

Megatron: This is a most disturbing development.. Yesss...

Thrust:  <Getting up>  Did I miss anything.

Megatron: <Sigh>  Yesssssss....

Thrust:  What?

Bob Skir/Drone:  Sir, it appears that we may have company.

Megatron:  The Maximals?

BS/D: No actually, the signal... is... well.. Predicon.

Megatron:  What.

BS/D: Predicon, Sir.

Megatron:  I heard you, you idiotic artificial intelligence.   This is very interesting. Yesssss..

The Council doors open, revealing....

Blackarachnia: <In Tarantulas Form>  Lt. Tarantulas, Predicon Secret Police, at your service.

Megatron:  You're dead.

Blackarachnia: No I'm not.

Megatron:  Yes you are.

Blackarachnia: No.  I clearly am not.

Megatron:  That doesn't excuse the fact that you died.

Blackarachnia:  Yes it does.

Megatron: NO, it doesn't.  Yesssssss.

Blackarachnia:  Yeah, actually it does.

Megatron:  Whatever.  I'm too tired right now to care.

Blackarachnia: But I thought it was the Fanfic writer who was tired...

Traegorn RavenHawk:  Shut up!

Blackarachnia:  Sorry.

Megatron:  You do realize that you are organic, and I never really liked you anyway, so I'm going to have to kill you now.

Blackarachnia:  Why?

Megatron:  Becau... Why.  That's a good question.  Hey, Bob Skir!

Bob Skir/Drone: <Pulls up next to Megs>  Yes?

Megatron:  Why do I want to wipe out the organics?

BS/D:  <sigh> Because they are impure.

Megatron:  Oh yeah.  Because you are impure.  Yesssssss.

Blackarachnia:  That's pretty stupid.

Megatron:  Silence!  Yesssss...

<To Go on, and on, and on>

Next Time on the Lost Episodes:

Megatron:  No, I'm sure.  I still want to kill you.

Blackarachnia: Dammit!