Megatrons Journal, or "How I learned to stop worrying and take over Cybertron"

Day 1

I fell off of the Autobot shuttle today.  It hurt like hell, yessssss.  Apparently, falling forcibly back into the space-time-continuum-proper was more traumatic than I expected.  I appear to be drifting in space somewhere, not quite sure where exactly.  I think I will have fun with this.

Day 2

I've decided that I need to clip my toenails.  Every time I try to reach for them though, I find I don't have enough points of articulation.  This is not fun anymore.

Day 15

Still floating in space.  You know what?  This sucks.

Day 37

I've decided that I jumped off the shuttle too damned early.  I could have waited till the last second, and just worked harder -- but no!  I had to plan ahead!  Mr. Prepared.  This is not pleasant. Yessssss...

Day 207

Space is very boring.  I got hit in the face with a piece of rock, no CR chamber in sight so it'll probably leave a scar.  I think I will name the Scar "Theodore"

Day 250

I had a very nice conversation with Theodore today.  He tells me I should "KILL EVERYONE".  I thoroughly agreed, but then pointed out that there wasn't anyone around to kill.  He pointed at the pink bunnies that are floating around.  I then reminded Theodore that he is just a scar, and really doesn't have the ability to point out anything.  He kicked me in the groin.  I still want to know how he managed to do that...

Day 378

Theodore and I had a fight.  He said I was too clingy, and that he needed someone "less high maintenance".  I reminded him that I hadn't been in a CR chamber in over a year.  He said that I didn't get it and that I  just don't have a complete grasp on reality.  Coming from a talking scar, that really hurts.

Day 456

I got hit by a space ship today.  They just kept on flying.  The bastards.

Day 486

Some people  named "Chas and Mick" gave me a lift.  They kept talking about some bar named "The Shag".   I asked them if they would take me to Cybertron.  They took me as far as Mirander, and said that was as far as they were going.  I would have killed the infidels if I wasn't busy trying to find a bathroom I could fit in.

Day 490

Bought a ship from some guy named Vinnk.  Well, it's more like I turned into a Dragon and threatened to eat him if he didn't give it to me.  The blonde little creep deserved it.  I've set course for Cybertron.

Day 500

Theodore has stopped talking to me.  I bought a book "Megatrons are from Mars, Scars are from Cybertron" but it hasn't helped our relationship.  I've decided to break up with Theo.  He just refuses to accept me for me.

Day 512

I've reached Unicron's head and am bringing it with me to Cybertron.  I know it left orbit in Season 3 of G1, but I think it will be a nice part of my gallery once I take over.  Theodore and I have gotten back together.  Unicron tells me I shouldn't keep taking him back

Day 520

I've arrived at Cybertron.  I put Unicron's head into orbit.  I don't think anyone's noticed yet.

I got to Moon Base 2.  Beat up some guy named Aerosurge, and stole the virus he was working on.  It's nucle-whatever based.  I wonder what would happen if I released it, built some drones and tried to take over the planet?

Day 530

Whoo hoo! I stole the sparks and have taken over the planet.  Theodore and I are back on speaking terms, and I've built some neat murals.  I've also replaced my old wings with a wing-cloak thingie.  It looks really swank, and will be cause for Hasbro to make a new toy.  Hopefully it will look really crappy so people will only be wasting their money on it.

Day 531

Primal showed up.  Crap in a hat.