| Episode 1 - Rattrap 1/2
Rattrap runs quickly down a tunnel. Rattrap: Jeez, that damned lab has to be here somewhere.... Rattrap hops up through a hole and finds himself face to face with... Blackarachnia: Guess the Sewers weren't faster this time, huh. Rattrap: Man, you practically scared the swiss outa.. Damnit! I hate these cheese references! Blackarachnia: Then why don't you just *stop* making them! Rattrap: I can't! For some reason it's built into the programming of the new body! Not to mention that it makes me act like I'm five.... Blackarachnia: Yeah, I've noticed. That still doesn't explain why you ran away from base. Rattrap: Look around, webby. What do you see. Blackarachnia looks around for the first time. Blackarachnia: It's a lab. Suprise suprise. This is Cybertron. There are a lot of these around. Rattrap: <sigh> Y'just don't get it kid. Rattrap trots over to a console. Rattrap: I found this place a few days ago. There's a rather unique virus on the files. It's a regression virus Blackarachnia: A what? Rattrap: A Regression Virus. The "Jusenkyo" virus to be exact. It morphs you to a previous state. Blackarachnia: What good is that. Rattrap: Well, if you haven't noticed... I AM TRANSFORMED! Rattrap transforms. Rattrap: I look like an idiot! Hmm, and where the hell did the oracle put guns? Nowhere! I'm a frickin' sharp shooter for Primus' sake! Blackarachnia: Are you crazy! Megatron will have the Vehicons here any minute! <Meanwhile, at the Megatron's Lair> Megatron: Yessss, a Maximal has yet again done something incredibly stupid. Yesssss. Now, what shall I do. JETSTORM!! Jetstorm: (From his room) What is it! Pokemon is on! Megatron: (Rolls his eyes) As the only intelligent Vehicon not thinking with his Rigid Grill Structure, I need you to perform a mission. Yesssss. Jetstorm: But Pokemon is on! Megatron: GO NOW! Yessssss. Jetstorm: Sure. <to himself> as soon as the 20 hour Pokemon marathon is over. <Back at the lab> Rattrap: Don't worry. I've been working on this. All I have to do is download it and.... Rattrap plugs his tail into the wall. Computer: Reformatting to modified older form. Rattrap lifts and glows -- and is returned to his original Beast Wars model. Rattrap: All right! Rattrap flips out his pistol. Rattrap: Nightscream is going to find life a little more interesting. Blackarachnia: What are you doing! Are you insane! What about the virus! Blackarachnia swings a leg at the console. Rattrap: NO! Stop! Blackarachnia suddenly is covered in sparking energy and begins to morph... ...into Tarantulas!! Rattrap: Holy shit! Blackarachnia/Tarantulas: What are you yelling about. Rattrap: Look at yourself! B/T: <Looking down> Holy shit! Rattrap: That's what I said! Is that still you Blackarachnia? B/T: Last time I checked... Rattrap: The Virus wasn't set for you.... And you must have had Tarantulas' pattern left over from your Predicon days and... man oh man. B/T: What the hell am I going to do! Rattrap: I don't know, come on, lets get out of here. Rattrap returns to beast mode and hops into the sewers. Blackarachnia (still looking like Tarantulas) transforms and hops in after him. When he/she hits the water.. she returns to her Beast Machine's form. Blackarachnia: What the? I'm back to my reformatted body. Rattrap: Weird, the virus is supposed to stay stable.. Lets get you back to base. Suddenly a steam vent covers Blackarachnia in hot water... and she ends up as Tarantulas again... Blackarachnia: I'm beginning to see a pattern. <Back at Meg's big place of Evil people> Jetstorm: Hehe, Pikachu is so funny. "pika! Pika!" hahaha Megatron: JETSTORM! Jetstorm: Oh shit. <The Maximal Base> Rattrap, and the Tarantulas looking Blackarachnia enter the area. Rattrap: You better stay outside the door. I'll go in first. Eh, Optimus? Cheetor? Dickhea... I mean Nightscream? Primal: <sitting in lotus position with back to door> What is it Rattrap? I'm becoming one with the matrix here! buddha buddha buddha... Rattrap: We have a slight situation. Primal: <turns and faces him> What is... oh my. This is new. Rattrap: Old actually. Primal: Whatever. Didn't we reformat you? Rattrap: Yeah! Well, it sucked. Rattrap MAXIMIZE! Rattrap returns to robot form. Nightscream enters. Nightscream: What the hell? Who are you! Rattrap: Shut up. <shoots Nightscream in the wing knocking Nightscream to the ground> Cheetor enters gratuitously because everyone else was in on the action, and this is an ensemble show. I mean hey, we're trying to sell toys that won't be out until after Christmas... Cheetor: Whoa, Rattrap. What the hell is going on? Primal: Yes. Do explain. Rattrap: Well, before I do, maybe you should see this. Blackarachnia enters, looking like Tarantulas Primal: HOLY PRIMUS! Blackarachnia: I'm Blackarachnia, sorry about this. <Meg's house of eternal badness> Jetstorm: But Megatron! I was just about to... Megatron: That was four hours ago! Yessss... Jetstorm: Yeah, but it's Pokemon.... Megatron: Enough, insolent whelp! <Megatron retreats>. It looks as though I may need to create a new Vehicon design... Yesss. A new approach... I must destroy them with what they hate the most... yessssss..... <Maximal Home-turf> Cheetor: So, Hot water turns her into Tarantulas, and cold water returns her to normal. Rattrap: Exactly! Cheetor: Can I have some pie now? Rattrap: No bumblebee, you can't. Cheetor: I AM NOT BUMBLEBEE! <Runs away> Primal: That still doesn't explain why Megatron's virus doesn't effect you. How can you function? Rattrap: Well, as far as I can guess the Jusenkyo virus keeps it out of my system... Nightscream: Why is Blackarachnia changing? Rattrap shoots Nightscream in the wing. Rattrap: Shut up flyboy. Primal: You really have to stop doing that. And get back into beast mode for the sake of Primus! <A voice from above>: Too late for that! The Maximals look up and see a blurry yellow car shape falling towards them... Blackarachnia (now back in regular form): BumbleBee? Voice: Not quite. What lands in front of her, can only be described as SCARY. Voice (to the tune of "Larger than Life"): Hey Max-i-mals can't you
see, can't you see?
Cheetor (who is miraculously back): Oh my god, it's BumbleBee with Nick from the Backstreet Boy's head on it! Rattrap: He looks exactly like he did in that Larger than Life Video. Nightscream: You do realize that we aren't supposed to know this stuff.... Rattrap: Shut up! <shoots Nightscream in the wing> NickBee: I am NickBee! And my drones will finish you off. BumbleCons! Attack! A stream of yellow drones enter the room. Primal: I recommend running. Cheetor: I'm a fan of that! The Maximals run like Hell >To be Continued Next time on The Lost Episodes: NickBee: Quit playing games, Everybody! (NickBee's back!)
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