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Chillin', Not Illin'(ois) | |
Posted Nov 27, 2003 - 16:15:46
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Okay, so it's Thanksgiving - and I'm at my parent's house in Milwaukee... sitting in my room. And it's nice. Really.
Okay, so if you read my last update you know I was anticipating the type of family event that makes all of us shudder: Being forced to see everyone. But, last minute, my parents had a change of heart, and we're just having a small Thanksgiving. Just the five of us (my brother, sister, parents, and myself). Man, this is so nice.
Right now, I'm in my childhood bedroom, sitting in an armchair that used to be in the middle of the living room, watching a TV that used to be in the family room, and smelling my mom's fresh baked pumpkin pie through the open door. If all of my experiences in this house could be summed up into one moment - this would be it. The only thing, and I literally mean the only thing that could make me happier right now, is if Erin were here. I literally am sitting here right on the borderline of complete contentment, and am so happy I could burst.
No, Aliens didn't kidnap the real Trae Dorn and replace him with a pod-person. I really feel totally happy and relaxed. All of my worries have literally melted away right now - and I am just completely contained within this moment... Wow.
I think I needed to come home. I was holding together, but just barely. I think that my biggest problem lately is that I've been losing a part of myself. I've been swimming in the image of me so long, that I've forgotten the foundation. It has stressed my relationships with other people, and probably made me less fun to be around - but sitting here, surrounded by my life and my past... I think I've made that connection again.
Being around my family has been really cool. My sister and I had about a half hour long conversation on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, which is neat. It's kind of cool that I can sit down and talk to her now. One of my greatest regrets over time is that I'm not that close with my siblings. I just have always sort of existed in my own, and been fairly individualistic. But it's cost me on the way. Thankfully, this is something I can correct. I am fully capable of reconnecting with my brother and sister, and it's really not that hard of a process.
Hmmm... but I really miss Erin right now. I'm not used to sleeping alone anymore, and she's four hours away - having Thanksgiving with her family. Thanksgiving... wow... Last time I talked about Thanksgiving, I was fairly cynical... but maybe I should look at it a bit more seriously (Cue the corniness, just warning you).
What am I thankful for? I'm thankful for the people I care about: Erin, my Family, my friends... I'm thankful for my second chance at school, and I'm thankful that I have a place to live.
Wow. Okay, so I promise to be a lot less introspective in my next update, yeesh. Or at least I'll try. Until next time, kids...
- Traegorn
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