GN: Hello everyone! It's me, Vice Principal Gardening Ninja. It's so nice to see so many familiar faces! Welcome to the opening ceremonies for the No Brand Con Five Year Reunion! Of course, with me here is Vice Principal Greenboy.
GB: Hello!
GN: Yes, Welcome. We're glad so many of you were able to make it this year. All those years ago, at No Brand Con High... who knew you would all grow up into such productive... uh... I mean interesting... ummm... adults?... Well you grew into something at least. The important thing is you grew.
GB: Anyways, tonight we're going to start out with a look back at those very important four years of all of our lives. Where you all started off so young, end ended up not quite as young. The beauty of photography helps show us exactly how simple things were, you know, before the world crushed your soul.
Begin Slide Show - Runtime ~3 min 28 sec
The Following Text Can Be Changed, but I don't care at the moment.
GB: That was great... Ah yes, a nice call back to a simpler time. A time when life was simpler, when we had less responsibility, when we had a lot of fun without a care in the world...
GN: When we had no money...
GB: Yeah. But the slide show was very sentimental, don't you think?
GN: Yeah, sure. shrugs
GB: That was somewhat negative, Gardening Ninja.
GN: Well, there was a photo of me in there which made me look fat.
GB: I didn't see any photos of a Ninja in there.
GN: Geh, I was wearing normal clothing. You know, the mask isn't glued to my face or anything.
GB: It isn't?
GN: No.
GB: Are you sure?
GN: Of course I'm sure. Why the heck wouldn't I? Would you like me to remove my mask?
GB: No! That would be like pulling Santa's beard off and ruining Christmas!
GN: What the heck are you talking about? You have issues.
GB: Tell me about it. My therapy bills are astronomical.
GN: Anyway, Moving on...
GB: Moving On...
GN: You all have achieved so much over the years since "Graduation," and what we wanted to do is honor those achievements. But when reviewing the facts, we found that one particular student stood out more than others.
GB: Yes, so rather than do the nice thing, and say wonderful things about all of you, we're just going to pick out a single individual. Why?
GN: Because we're bitter and underpaid.
GB: Right. We're bitter and underpaid. Here to present the award is your favorite science teacher -- Science Teacher Lady!
Enter Science Teacher Lady
STL: As if reading an unrehearsed speech In every generation one person and or thing stands out. Sometimes because of personality, other times achievements. Sometimes raw heroism, and other times just because they smell really, really, REALLY bad. It is even rarer though, when an individual stands out because of all of these things. When one individual exhibits the very best qualities we adore, and brings glompability to a level unexpected of one so odiferous. A man whose travels are both unknown and legendary, and whose skin is made of everyone's favorite adhesive. I, of course, speak of Duct Tape Boy.
Duct Tape Boy Film. Runtime ~5 min 54 sec.
STL: Ladies and Gentleman, the honored student of NoBrandCon High: Duct Tape Boy!
Duct Tape Boy Enters, Science Teacher Lady Exists.
DTB: Gives acceptance Speech, he can write it himself.
GB: That was really.... something.
GN: Yeah...
GB: Enough playing around though, we have a great Event lined up for you guys! We've got a great set of Guests of Honor here - Tiffany Grant and Joe Grisaffi have honored us by returning, and we're happy to have Matt Greenfield and Kyle Hebert joining us as well.
GN: We've got returning events, like the Costume Contest tomorrow along with the Variety Show on Sunday, along with some brand-spankin'-new stuff for you like tonight's first ever No Brand Con Battle of the Bands!
GB: Don't forget that at 8:00pm tonight is the Man Auction. If you don't have a date for Tomorrow night's dance, you can pick one up there... for a fee.
GN: ...and of course, Hanzo the Razor returns tonight at midnight!
GB: We have a great vendor room lined up for you guys as well, check out what's there!
GN: We've also got some great Panels lined up - and I hope you're as excited about them as much as I am. Also, IBS returns with some foam sword tournaments as well!
GB: We have Table top Gaming throughout the length of the con - all night even. From the games you love, to some great indie games you've never even heard of.
GN: We have a great video game room for you guys to play in, along with a Bemani room.
GB: And there's a LARP which has already started, and runs until noon on Sunday. Check your program guide for details!
GN: In just a brief serious moment - I want to thank all of you for coming. When we started this, it was just four of us sitting in a hotel room in 2000. When we ran the first No Brand Con in 2002, it was a crap shoot. Entirely out of pocket, we were happy when we broke even at the end of the day. Here we are, in our fifth year, and we've over quadrupled in size, had to move to a larger venue -- twice -- and those of us who started this have passed the torch to a new generation. And even if we don't pull the strings like we used to though, three of the four founders - Myself, Topher, and Vinnk - are still showing up every year to host events, and just to have a good time. Vinnk flies in from Japan even, which officially makes him the staff member who comes in from the longest distance -- But we can't forget Terence though. Terence Clark, the only founding member not here today, couldn't come sadly - but that's because his wife Jess just gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Put picture of Clark family on screen. But enough of this sentimentality.
GB: Yes, I hope you all show up at the Man Auction at 8pm, and all of you No Brand Heroes have a wonderful NoBrandCon!
