I decided I would hit up the International Folk Fair as, according to certain individuals, I needed to get more "cultured." They felt that I am not culturally accepting enough because I make hideous broad racial and geopolitical comments almost constantly. For instance, just today I mentioned that the Germans eat Christian babies in a misguided protest against stem cell research. This is, of course, untrue, as Germans wouldn't care about stem cell research because they are bad people. That kind of gross disregard for "pulling punches" leads most people to assume (correctly) that I am joking. Not surprisingly, it also supremely pisses some people off.

Hell yeah.

All that aside, I still decided to go on account of the Folk Fair's nature. (Free.) Let me lay this down right now: I am glad I went. The fair was a pleasant interlude to the rampant partying of Halloween weekend. I learned about a certain type of weasel that turns white in the winter from an old Native American who made clothing right in front of us. I checked out intricate carved pipes in the Iran room. I even learned about the first Chinese Emperor, who commissioned an army of clay soldiers built in his tomb. This is usually the part where I say, "And more!" Not this time, however; I only learned those three things at the fair, and even managed to forget any sort of proper noun associated with them. Relatively speaking, I learned a lot.

Once the learning ended, the eating began. I acquired a plate of rice from as many different countries as I could, mixed them all together, and ate it. You know, for symbolism's sake. After that, I decided to randomly walk around and move towards the most colorful objects. I went to the France table and drank some Orangena. This was where I met some friends of mine on a freak occurrence and talked Final Fantasy for awhile before heading off to the African room. While there I saw cool clothing wraps in a myriad of hues. I considered buying one, but instead I just got some grape soda and fried chicken.

I spent the next two to four hours searching for a Jewish room before being repeatedly told that the rooms were based on country and not religion. I found this quite suspicious for a supposedly "accepting" Folk Fair to so blatantly support Anti-Semitic room choice, but decided to let the subject die along with my interest in it. The next few hours are a blur. After that, I was getting kind of tired, so I thought I'd go to the Mexico room (a.k.a. Taco Bell).

Now, I must say that the Taco Bell room was the most engaging of them all, and not only because the food was cheaper. Everyone was wearing these green uniforms with a Taco Bell hat, which I'm told is called a "sombrero" in their native tongue. (Judging by the workers in the room, I discovered 50% of the population of Mexico is black, followed by 45% white, and 5% Latino.) Furthermore, they have a wonderful plethora of food as long as you like the same five ingredients put together in a different order. I ordered my Morning-After Burrito and went on my merry way. At this point I was grotesquely full of food, so I went to my room for some serious Final Fantasy XI.

As I sit in my room and write this, I can't help but think of how awesome Final Fantasy XI is--I mean, how entertaining the Folk Fair was. Say what you will about school sponsored events (and I have), this one was fun. Not as fun as getting drunk for every day of OctSOBERfest, but fun in a different way. Admittedly, like FF VII's Barret (a large, angry black man with a gun on his arm), cultural diversity seems best in small doses, with ample time to recover. Not as much time to recover as getting drunk for every day of OctSOBERfest, but still pretty long. For instance, just enough time until next year for another Folk Fair. I know I'm going. And I hope that doesn't stop you from going too.