November Hits My Brain Like a Hammer
Posted Nov 7, 2025 - 09:22:13

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Way back in 2011 I ran probably one of the best known storylines in UnCONventional called "I Hate November." In the comic, Lynn is pretty much just having a shitty time. We find out some of her backstory, but the focus is much more on her emotional state than any specific events or plot. Its core is a feeling that I don't know that I've ever had the words for, which is why I had to write a whole month long comic to describe it. The phrase "I hate November" was already in my vocabulary long before I wrote the piece.

Because I hate November.

I mean, that's not fair -- I hate how I feel in November. The month itself has never done anything specifically wrong to me. Every year it's like a cloak of gray kicks in and wraps around me though, one that I have to fight to get out of. Of course, unlike Lynn, this feeling isn't linked to some deep trauma, it's for much, much dumber reasons.

It's because it's dark out.

I don't know that I've ever really talked about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the twenty-four years I've written this blog, but it's been happening the whole time. Without fail, it builds up over the fall for me, and then when the clocks change it hits me like a hammer. This has been happening since as long as I can remember, and it just... sucks.

Now, I have stuff I can do to deal with this. Ways to lift myself out of this funk -- but they're tasks I have to actively remember to do. They're choices that I have to make. They don't make it go away, but they make it more than manageable. You'd think I'd remember to start doing them every year if this has been my lifelong experience.

I do not.

Literally, every year, I forget. I'm just wandering around going "Why do I suddenly feel like shit all the time?" forgetting this happens every year. It is so predictable, yet I completely forget when the annual "no sun" comes around.

I don't know that I have anything deeper to say about this right now, but it's just been on my mind. It's the sort of thing I historically edited out of this blog after the first few years, but I felt like I needed to write it somewhere.

On the upside, I've been writing music again, and digging through old half written pieces to see if there's anything interesting in there. I might put out a new "album" next year if I feel like it. Right now I'm trying to just make sure I stay on top of the projects I'm already committed to though, so who knows.

I just know that I hate November.

Also, remember, you can pre-order Buried Memories, the fourth book in my contemporary fantasy series the Mia Graves Saga, out December 15th 2025.
- Traegorn