Calvsie vs Brother

calvsie · Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 5:05 pm Post subject: Calvsie vs Brother

I decided to stop interrupting the main thread every time my brother says something stupid. Instead I have created a brand spanking new thread

Brother on the Wii:
Nobody actually plays it and the ps3 is selling better. further more the Wii was always in stock after the initial release and that the sold out status was a fluke caused by hype.
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I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Traegorn · Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 12:03 am Post subject:

Dear lord Calvsie... that's just terrible.
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calvsie · Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 10:44 pm Post subject:

brother on Pacman:
Packman is a football player, if you are referring to the video game its Ms. Pacman. There was no game with a character just called "Pacman".
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I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Scrotorius · Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 1:47 pm Post subject:

You're both wrong, of course. Pac-man is a frog.

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calvsie · Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:55 pm Post subject:

seriously?
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I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

calvsie · Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:40 pm Post subject:

so based on tonight's conversations my brother is:
A racist
A sexist
A neo-Nazi
A pro hitler guy
and finally an all around jerk[/list]
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Scrotorius · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 8:14 pm Post subject:

Calvsie, has your brother had any other sage advice lately? I'm dying for more.
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Club a gay, commie, atheist baby seal for Jesus!

Five Tons of Flax!!

calvsie · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:47 pm Post subject:

only his response to the fact that North Korea surprised a lot of people in the 1966 by doing well in the world cup and that certain people on the bbc radio network were expecting them to do they same again.
His response:
"No one expects expects the North Koreans to do well this year, and even if it were true you heard it from the British and they have no idea what they are talking about"

Yeah, the British know nothing about soccer, but of course my brother being American knows everything in spite of the fact he had never seen a soccer match before the world cup.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Cheesus · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:22 pm Post subject:

And that the rest of the world calls soccer football and we are the only country to not get the memo
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calvsie · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:47 pm Post subject:

Saying football around my house is a good way to get an ear full about what the nfl is up to around here.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

calvsie · Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:56 pm Post subject:

my brothers face book status:
"Woman, without her man, is nothing."

the responses say it all...
Elisha H. Schaibley Whatever, Men would starve to death if they didn't have a woman around.
13 minutes ago Â· LikeUnlike

Ashley Bauer A Man would never survive!!! Laundry would never be washed, Food would never been eaten *maybe bought but Moldy, I could go on and on! Girls Rock.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Traegorn · Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:07 pm Post subject:

I don't know which is worse - that your brother is that sexist, or that the only comebacks the women could come up with merely reinforced the archaic gender roles of his mindset.
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Traegorn · Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:28 pm Post subject:

Quick question Calvsie - While bored, I actually paged through a bunch of your brother's old Facebook statuses to see if he posted anything funny.

Well, I noticed two things: One, according to his listed birthdate, he's 25. Second, last April he apparently went to someone's Prom.

So, I guess my question is: Is your brother the creepy guy in his twenties who still skeezes on High School girls?
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calvsie · Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 10:39 pm Post subject:

He has had a thing for 15 year olds since he was 18. It has slowly gotten creepier. So I guess the answer is yes.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Traegorn · Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:43 am Post subject:

So I glanced at his Facebook page today...

...and your brother watches Gossip Girl? I don't know if your brother is so much as into 15 year old girls as IS A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL HIMSELF.
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Why aren't you reading UnCONventional (the awesome comic) yet?

befu · Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:09 pm Post subject:

calvsie · Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:32 pm Post subject:

well over the weekend he claimed he was the most happening thing at a wedding because he started a game of ultimate Frisbee, and didn't participate in the dance.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

calvsie · Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:45 am Post subject:

listening to my brother talk about project runway or next top model (I forget which) is kinda hilarious because he thinks he knows more than the judges.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

Traegorn · Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:57 am Post subject:

I don't know which is sadder.

That your brother thinks he knows more than they do, or the very fact that he knows less than they do.

MY BRAIN IS SCREAMING.
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Why aren't you reading UnCONventional (the awesome comic) yet?

Kitty · Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:10 am Post subject:

I just don't know why the judges on Project Runway like such ugly, ugly clothes sometimes. They really have a thing for asymmetrical black mismash dresses. Ugh.
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calvsie · Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:05 am Post subject:

I maybe sexist. My brother said something similar but it seems more credible coming from you.
_________________
I glared at the monkey in the kitchen. It knew why I was The Monkey grabbed a knife. I grabbed a bottle and broke the bottom off on the counter. We menaced each other for several minutes...

The Russian · Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:36 am Post subject:

Fashion is just plain weird sometimes. I saw a plaid ballgown on that show once--why god, why?
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Liquid Harley · Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:53 am Post subject:

Plaid shouldn't be on anything that isn't a button up work shirt. The Al Borlan Special should never be applied to anything else, especially gowns/dresses. The mere thought makes me want to pull an Al Neri.

Traegorn · Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:49 am Post subject:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HARLEY!

Have you no appreciation for the kilt!

Or, more importantly, THE PLAID SKIRT.

I think you guys are too restrictive on your thoughts on plaids -- and it's not like a plaid gown in a new idea. Hell, Amy Lee wears on in the music video for "Call me when you're sober"
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The Russian · Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:06 pm Post subject:

I don't think I'm terribly restrictive--I own a pair of plaid shoes, a plaid handbag, and a few skirts and shirts. A plaid dress is even doable if the pattern is small enough and the person is petite. It's just that allover plaid--particularly unsubtle patterns--doesn't belong on ballgowns.
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I once stole an entire city and put it in my back pocket.